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Unless you’re a genetic outlier, you’re bound to meet someone you don’t like at some point in your life. You’re certain to meet someone you don’t get along with, whether it’s your mother-in-law or one of your coworkers.
It helps to remember that nobody is flawless, according to Deep Patel, author of A Paperboy’s Fable: The 11 Principles of Success. You are among them.
Patel shares four techniques successful people use to deal with people they don’t get along with in a blog post for Entrepreneur.com. After all, it’s unlikely that you’ll be able to avoid working with individuals you don’t like – in fact, Patel claims that limiting who you can work with will only limit you.
Rather than burying your head in the sand, try shifting your perspective like successful individuals do. Here are some suggestions.
1. Accept that you can’t get on with everyone
We all hope to like everyone we meet, but that isn’t always the case. The first step in coping with people you don’t get along with, according to Patel, is to understand that no one gets along with everyone. It doesn’t make you a bad person, and it doesn’t make them one (not necessarily, anyway.)
According to a blog post on Psychology Today by psychologist Dr. Susan Krauss, you and the person are probably not a good match. In another blog post on Psychology Today, consultant and author Beverly D. Flaxington describes how our behavioural types can cause conflict. Some are assertive, while others are reserved. Some people consider themselves “realists,” while others are optimists.
2. Try and put a positive spin on what they are saying
You may look at how people are acting differently, according to Krauss. Your in-laws may not have meant to imply that you aren’t intelligent, and your coworker may not be attempting to undermine you.
Even if the individual who is bothering you is doing so on purpose, getting furious about it will most likely make you appear awful. So attempt to see things from their perspective.
3. Be aware of your own emotions
It’s crucial to remember that your personal emotions count, but you’re the only one who can decide how you react to situations, according to Patel. People will only drive you insane if you give them the opportunity. So, don’t let your rage get out of hand.
Recognize your feelings and then let them go without dealing with the individual if they are bothering you. Sometimes simply smiling and nodding may suffice.
The answer, according to Patel, is to treat everyone with the same level of respect. That doesn’t imply you have to agree with or agree with everything a person says, but you should act civilized and polite. This allows you to remain solid on your issues while without coming across as personally assaulting someone, giving you the upper hand.
4. Don’t take it personally and get some space
A quarrel is almost often the result of a misunderstanding. If not, and you truly disagree with someone, then try to see things from their point of view.
Try not to overreact since they may do the same, escalating the situation rapidly and violently. Try to rise above it all by focusing on facts and ignoring how the other person is reacting, no matter how absurd or stupid it may seem. Patel advises focusing on the problem rather than the individual.
Take use of any available space. You have every right to set limits and select when and how you connect with others. Take a break and get some fresh air if you find yourself becoming worked up. In a LinkedIn post, President of TalentSmart Dr. Travis Bradberry puts it simply: would you sit there all afternoon inhaling second-hand smoke if they were smoking? No, you’d grab some fresh air and move away.
