Relationships can bring us so much joy and fulfillment, but if you’re struggling with abandonment issues, forming and maintaining healthy relationships can be a real challenge. You’re not alone – abandonment issues can stem from various factors, like childhood trauma, loss, or neglect. They can lead to relationship problems, from trust issues to pushing people away. 

But fear not! Natalie Sommer has five hot tips for you to overcome abandonment and find true love, thanks to her wealth of experience. 

Understanding Abandonment Issues

Abandonment issues can be a real doozy, stemming from a fear of being left alone. This fear can bubble up from a traumatic event like losing someone close to you or less severe but still painful experiences like feeling rejected or ignored. According to Natalie Sommer, “fear of abandonment can come from an anxious attachment style or early childhood trauma.”

Whatever the root cause, abandonment issues can mess with all areas of your life – relationships, work, social interactions, you name it. It’s important to recognize these beliefs and behaviors for what they are and Natalie Sommer gives a detailed outlook into the signs to notice. 

Identifying Abandonment Issues

Identifying abandonment issues is the first step in overcoming them. In the word of Natalie, these are the signs that you may have abandonment issues: 

• Feeling insecure in yourself and about the relationship
• A strong fear of losing a loved one
• Overactive role in being a people pleaser and caretaker. Thinking that “the more love I give, the more I’ll receive too.” But on a deeper level, you’re not fully open to receiving love. 
• In need of frequent reassurances the other person likes or loves you
• Lack of boundaries
• Being in co-dependent relationships out of fear of being alone
• Create attention seeking behavior
• Manipulating your partner out of fear that they may leave.
  

If you recognize these signs in yourself, taking steps to address your abandonment issues before pursuing a relationship is essential.

Overcoming Abandonment Issues

Overcoming abandonment issues is a process that takes time and effort. Here are some practical ways to address abandonment issues:

• Dig deep to discover the source: A qualified therapist can help you explore your past experiences, especially childhood ones, and gain insight into your fears.
• Seek support when needed: If you’re struggling to maintain a healthy relationship, don’t hesitate to seek support from a therapist or counselor. Natalie says to “get some support to help you understand the causes and see the patterns, which will give you a chance to change the patterns.”
• Maintain healthy boundaries: In a relationship, it’s crucial to “learn about boundaries,” as stated by Natalie. This means being clear about your needs and limits and communicating them to your partner. It also means respecting your partner’s boundaries and avoiding codependency.
• Boost your self-esteem: You can improve your self-esteem by setting realistic goals, taking good care of yourself, and being kind to yourself. More specifically, Natalie advices that you “re-parent the inner child that would have needed connection or safety you didn’t receive when growing up, as this could create inner security.”

• Learn healthy coping mechanisms: To manage the fear of abandonment and maintain a positive outlook on relationships, developing healthy coping mechanisms such as exercise, journaling, or confiding in a trusted friend or therapist is essential. These activities can help you handle difficult emotions and cultivate resilience.
• Communicate openly and honestly: Communication is vital to a healthy relationship. Be honest with your partner about your feelings, needs, and concerns. Avoid keeping secrets or avoiding difficult conversations.
• Get into mindfulness: By incorporating mindfulness practices such as meditation or deep breathing exercises into your daily routine, you can develop greater self-awareness of your thoughts and emotions. Natalie Sommer puts it this way, “externalize your feelings.”
• Shower yourself with self-compassion: it’s important to treat yourself with kindness and understanding, just as you would a friend. By practicing self-compassion, you can build a more positive self-image, accept yourself, and attain greater well-being and inner peace.
• Prepare yourself for healthy relationships: Pursuing a healthy relationship involves being emotionally and mentally prepared. Take time to reflect on your values, goals, and priorities. Consider what qualities you’re looking for in a partner and what your non-negotiable are.
• Practice forgiveness: Forgiveness is an essential component of any healthy relationship. Be willing to forgive your partner when they make mistakes, and be open to receiving forgiveness.
• Work through challenges together: Every relationship will face challenges at some point. It’s essential to work through these challenges together and to maintain a sense of teamwork and support.

 Conclusion

When working toward overcoming abandonment and finding true love, Natalie advices that you get “a safe and grounded self-secure person. Choosing another anxious or avoidant partner will create co-dependency, and feed in each other’s negative cycles.”